Rebirth Ceremony......Have you heard about them? No it's not some heebee geebee ritual to act out giving birth. A rebirth ceremony is simply a moment that is created to go back to the birth space in your mind, and release some of the traumtic moments that may have happened during or after birth. I have been thinking how these moments would help mothers who may or may not even realize that they are holding on to some hurtful moments. Moments that may be brushed off as well everything is ok now. Moments that left you in shock. Moments that leave us hurting. We NEED to take time and allow those feelings to process. To allow ourselves to heal. Even if we didn't know we needed to heal.
Two weeks ago I served a birthing couple as their doula and photographer. Beforehand at our meeting I learned that there had been some events during labor and birth that left them thinking their birth was a mess! This time she really wanted to have a smooth labor and delivery and prepared and educated herself. Spontaneous labor started a week before her due date which was a huge relief. Momma was quickly admitted and labored on like a trooper. Her water broke while on the birth ball and things picked up quickly. Within the hour her son was born!
Immediately after birth the staff determined that her sons oxygen levels were not staying where they needed to be and they called respiratory and nicu to the room. Quickly it was decided that baby needed to be admitted to the nicu for observation. Mom got a quick kiss before nicu took baby and dad followed out the door.
There she was. Just had given birth. Medical staff finished with checks for now. Had I not been in the room with her, she would have sat there in bed alone. a whirlwind of physical pain, and relief that baby was here so smoothly and then shock that her son was not in the room. She was not able to do immediate skin to skin or nurse till almost 13 hours later that night.
As most moms do, we put on our mom face and chalk it up that everything is how it is supposed to be and we go with it. Only....there is something missing.
We take back what is ours when we hold space for these moments that we missed. I knew I wanted to create a safe space for mom to just be with her son. I didn't know the proper words to say or if I should say anything. I had worship music playing just as it had been playing while she was in labor. I explained that these moments were for just her to let go and have this one on one time with her son. It was quite beautiful.
Later that evening I received a text from mom. (Shared with permission) " I was reflecting on our session/ceremony on the way home and I have to tell you that I felt such a peace come over me! I totally understood the goal to the rebirth ceremony but actually having those emotions and memories is more than I could imagine! Getting those moments to connect with Waylon really did fill a space I hadn’t realized was empty. Thank you for creating that for us and being such a loving light in our journey " I'm pretty sure I think I will be offering these sessions more!!